


Light in the darkness.

by Rogue1987



Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Bickering, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Deviates From Canon, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Homophobia, M/M, Secret Relationship, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-09 23:11:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4367918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rogue1987/pseuds/Rogue1987
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Hammbone' had definitely learned a thing or two during bootcamp. </p><p>He just wished that shutting his big mouth and averting his eyes at the right times had been one of those things, but that wasn't to be.</p><p>Or an AU story where Hamm lives and Peck dies, like it should have been, and a story about how the rest of the company sees Sledge and Snafu's relationship blossom on Okinawa, with the usual bumps in the road.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All the small things.

**Author's Note:**

> So I was re-watching the Pacific and I always get extremely frustrated when I see that Hamm is the one who ends up dead instead of Peck.   
> He deserved better, so I'm giving that to him here. 
> 
> This was suppose to be one chapter but it got long already so I'll make it two parts.   
> I hope you guys like it!

_Pavuvu, march 1945._

 

When David Hamm first arrived at Pavuvu and was being assigned to his unit K-3-5, the first thing he noticed was the extremely unpleasant welcome he received from his squad.

He and Tony Peck had signed up at the mortar squad tent and were send to another tent instantly by their Sergeant, some guy named Burgin.  
Burgin was average sized built, had dark brown hair and a muscled chest but the thing that stood out the most about him were his eyes.

They were dark blue, strangely deep and intense and Hamm found it hard not to stare at them, wondering what was behind the coldness that was being displayed in them.

There were two other guys sitting in the tent who didn't even look up to them, they just resumed smoking a cigarette and the other one smoked a big pipe, which seemed strange considering that he looked barely eighteen years old.

One of the guys had dark curls and strange gray eyes and the other had ginger hair and brown eyes.

They were discussing something about the mortar head and seemed to be arguing.

Hamm and Peck left the tent and went looking for a place where they would be welcome to stay, and after a while they had some luck with some replacements all the way across the camp.

Hamm soon learned that the two guys that were bickering were called Snafu and Sledge and they seemed to go everywhere together, despite the fact that they constantly seemed to be fighting about something.

Sergeant Burgin didn't warm up to them in the _slightest_ and Hamm saw no other choice than to stick with Peck, who he really didn't even like that much.  
Peck was a guy who spend all his time whining about his wife Kathy and how he missed her so much.

He hadn't even asked Hamm a single question about him, he only talked about himself and his own troubles.

Burgin let them work very hard, ordered them to scrub the oil out of the empty drums, let them run up and down hills everyday to get them in shape and issued extra rifle and mortar training.

Hamm overhead Snafu complaining about that one day. ''I don't know why ya bother teaching them so much Burgie, they'll all gonna be dead in a day anyway and ya know it,'' the man said and Hamm felt an iron fist clench around his heart.

He knew when he enlisted that there was a chance he was going to die naturally, but hearing Snafu say it with such ease and normality really terrified him.

It made him wonder how many replacements Snafu had known before him that had died during the first day.

Burgin responded with a calm: ''You never know Snaf, you didn't think Sledgehammer would ever amount to something decent when he arrived but he turned out to be an amazing Marine from the first day on,''

''Yeah well Gene is an _exception_ then, but these fucking college kids don't stand a chance Burgie and ya know it,'' Snafu spat, twirling his cigarette between his fingers before taking another long drag, exhaling the smoke lazily.

''You gotta be more careful with that shit,'' Burgin noticed and Snafu creased an eyebrow at his friend.

''I don't know what ya talking about,'' he said, voice even and certain but Hamm could tell by the look on his face that something was going on.

''Of course you don't,'' Burgin reprimanded and he took another drag of his smoke and sighed.  
''Where's Bill?'' Snafu asked, referring to their friend and rifleman Bill Leyden and Burgin nodded to the tent next to theirs.

''He was in there,'' the sergeant said and Snafu disappeared into the other tent, leaving a long silence behind.  
Hamm slipped back to his own tent as silent as he could, wondering what that had been all about.

A few days later they finally shipped out to Okinawa.  
It had been a long boat ride and after a while Hamm had grown tired of life on the huge overcrowded ship.

It had been a relief to step on the landing vehicle and to finally be able to get himself involved in the war.  
When they had arrived at the beach however he soon learned that he had been a tad too optimistic about what war was really all about.

They had been lucky enough to be able to land on the beach without getting shot up like his fellow marines had dealt with when they landed on Peleliu and other islands but Hamm soon discovered the horrors of battle.

Pictures and stories about it had done nothing to prepare him for the real deal.

The stench of the rotting corpses that never left, the constant fear of getting shot up, blood and guts lying on the muddy earth.

Not being able to sleep for days without nightmares, being constantly hungry and wet from the rain that never seemed to end. Nothing had been able to prepare him for that.

On their first day they encountered a couple of Japanese POW's and Sledge and Snafu almost got into a fight with them, only being stopped by the army intelligence officer who got an earful from Lt Mac for exposing his prisoners on the pathway that the marines walked on.

After the spat they moved further down the line, meeting several Okinawan's and Peck made a stupid comment about them, leading to an argument with Snafu.  
''You know the new ponchos are filled with chemicals,'' Snafu mumbled to Peck who raised his eyebrows startled.

''I didn't hear such a thing,''

''Yeah you think they're gonna tell _you?_ Here take mine,'' he said as he tugged his own ragged up poncho from his rug sack and shoved it in Peck's arms, taking the newer poncho from Peck with a big grin.

Ah the old swap trick, Hamm thought with a small smile on his face.

Peck was an idiot to have fallen for Snafu's excuse and the veteran stalked off with a grin and a muffled _'semper_ _fi'_ leaving Peck with a furious and betrayed expression on his face.

He turned to Hamm, who just shrugged his shoulders, not really in the mood to get involved in their drama and kept walking next to Bill Leyden.

Hamm thought that Pavuvu had smelled horrible but now that they were on Okinawa and the rotting corpses were literally all around them he found out that Pavuvu had smelled incredibly nice compared to this hellhole.

The first few nights he shared a foxhole with Bill Leyden, who was friendly enough but didn't say much and they didn't see any Japs for a couple of days.  
Intel told them that they had bunkered up on a long line across the island, but they had yet to encounter them.

The fifth night he shared his foxhole with Burgin and looked at Sledge and Snafu who were in the foxhole a few yards in front of them.

They seemed to be fighting again, despite the fact that they were sitting incredibly close to each other and Hamm nudged Burgin out of his sleep.

''Are they okay in there? They seem to be fighting and I don't want the Japs hearing them,'' Hamm mused and Burgin examined his face a few moments before smiling.

He hadn't even looked at Sledge and Snafu's foxhole, but he still shook his head.

''Nah everything is fine kid, they are just like that. They fight a lot but it means nothing really,''

''If they hate each other so much, then why do they always demand to be in the same foxhole?'' Hamm asked and Burgin rolled his eyes as if he were praying for patience.

''Who said they hate each other?''  
''Well isn't it obvious?''

''They don't _hate_ each other, it's just complicated,''  
''Like how?''

''Look Hamm, why don't you ask them yourself if you're so anxious to know. It's none of my business and frankly it's none of yours either,'' Burgin bit out and Hamm sighed deep.

''Fine, maybe I will ask them,''  
''You do that, just don't expect an honest answer though,''

Burgin turned around and went back to sleep and Hamm found himself entranced by the two men that were huddled up together in the foxhole next to them.  
His curiosity was spiked now and he found it impossible to let it go until he found out what was going on with them.

A few days later Hamm was digging a hole in the never ending mud that was sucking them down when Sledge suddenly addressed him.  
''You need to square the walls, and put a small hole in the bottom for drainage,'' he advised him and Hamm looked up surprised.

''Huh?''  
''Just trying to help,'' Sledge shrugged and Snafu chuckled beside him.

''Don't know why you bother, they'll be dead in a few days. Don't wanna know their names,'' he bit out.

''It's Hamm, H-A-M-M, just use it to get my attention,'' Hamm suggested cranky but Snafu slipped Sledge an evil smirk and grinned.

''Hamm with two mm's. Now I gotta forget somethin,''  
''Give it a rest Snaf,'' Sledge spat out and Hamm could tell that an argument would be right around the corner, but to his surprise it sustained for now.

Snafu shot Sledge a warm smile and nudged his ribs gently, earning a chuckle from his friend in return.  
And in that moment Hamm saw it.

The twinkle in both of their eyes, the warmth that was hidden in the smile.  
Sledge and Snafu were in _love,_ they were together somehow.

They wandered off together mumbling something about going to get more ammo and Hamm found himself unable to move, a shocked star struck expression in his blue eyes.

Burgin was next to him in the blink of an eye and exhaled deep.  
''You finally caught up huh, took you long enough,'' he whispered soft, checking the surroundings for any nosy ears.

''How long have they-''  
''Oh long enough trust me, ever since Peleliu,''

''But is that even allowed? Does Lt Mac know?'' Hamm asked.

''Nah he doesn't know, and no it's not allowed. Which is why you need to shut your mouth about it to anyone besides the five of us,'' he said.

''Five of us?''  
''I know, Bill knows, and now you know so that combined with them makes five,'' Burgin explained and Hamm nodded slow.

''Okay I won't say anything to anyone,''

And he really meant to keep his word on that, he really did but the next time he saw Sledge and Snafu he found it hard to contain his smile and he hoped he wouldn't give them away accidentally.

That night he sat in his foxhole with Burgin and the rain was coming down heavily, making their ponchos useless toys in the never ending stream of water.

Sledge and Snafu were in the foxhole next to theirs and Hamm followed the line of their shoulders that he could see peeking out of the earth and the helmets that were bouncing on their heads.

They were sitting extremely close to each other again and after a while Hamm noticed movement and small gasps rising from the foxhole.

He squinted his eyes to sharpen the image but really wished that he hadn't afterward for when he payed close attention he could tell Sledge's hand bobbing up and down and hearing the muffled groans from Snafu gave him a pretty good idea of what was going on.

It wasn't uncommon for marines to jerk off in front of each other, specially not during the long exhausting nights when they struggled to stay awake, but this was different and Hamm knew it.

Burgin had jerked off next to him a couple of times when he thought Hamm had been asleep and so had Leyden but it wasn't very normal for two marines to give each other a hand job.

At least not as far as Hamm knew.  
He saw Sledge's head dropping to Snafu's shoulder and then as soon as it had started it was over and the silence returned in their foxhole.

''Enjoy the show?'' Burgin asked, making Hamm jump up in shock.  
He hadn't realized that Burgin was awake and apparently watching him.

''N-no not really,''  
''Liar,''

''I never lie,'' Hamm said defensive and Burgin snickered.  
''Uhu,''

''Can I ask you something?'' he said to change to subject and Burgin nodded slow, placing his head against the wet walls of their foxhole and he shut his eyes, biting back a stifled yawn.

''Do you think they are in love?'' he asked and Burgin laughed so loud now that Sledge and Snafu turned around to face them, but Burgin shook his head to let them know that nothing was wrong.

When they had focused their attention back to each other Burgin took a sip form his water can still chuckling.  
''Oh Hamm, you're really a character you know that,'' he almost sounded pitiful and Hamm wondered what he had done wrong this time.

''What are you talking about?''  
''That you're such a _romantic._ In love...'' Burgin huffed as he said it and the sarcasm was dripping from his voice.

''Would that be so strange?'' Hamm asked cautiously and Burgin rolled his eyes.

''Yeah kinda. Look they got nothing in common okay, and they fight all the fucking time. I bet they only jerk each other off to stay awake,'' Burgin said but Hamm eyed him cautiously before making his own conclusion.

''You don't believe that,''  
''What makes you say that?''

''I can tell by the look on your face. You guys may think I'm some moron replacement like Peck is, but I see a lot of things that most people would miss. And despite of what you say, they are very close to each other and seem to be very much in love,'' Hamm said sternly and Burgin shot him a sad smile.

''I know you're not like Peck, you are a lot smarter and you're a friendly guy but you're dangerous Hamm,''  
Hamm raised his eyebrows and Burgin went on.

''You're an idealist, one of those guys who sat at home or at college, watching war movies and reading books about valor, honor and serving your country. So when the war broke out you wanted to help, do your part.

You romanticized it, thought that you'd single handedly destroy a Jap regiment or something like that. But then you got here, found out that you were the lowest on the totem pole, that nobody liked having you around and you discovered that the war isn't like you thought it would be.

That it's scary, brutal and vile and from the moment you stepped onto this rock you wished you would have never signed up. But you did sign up and you are here, regardless so you need to snap to it.  
You need to stop busying yourself with other people's relationships and need to get on target.

This outpost is one of the last defenses the Japs have, if we take this island the war could be over soon. That's what you need to focus on, not on saving every civilian you see, or to be kind to Japs that are near death.

You need to get in the game. You're a decent marine Hamm and I know you've got potential to be as good as Sledge is, but you need to focus and stop being so fucking romantic about the war.

Idealist are dangerous kid, they see things for what they want them to be, not for what they are.  
Idealists are the kind of people who get other people killed around here. Think about that,'' Burgin said solemnly and Hamm fell silent.

''Wake me up in two hours,'' Burgin ordered and he turned his side to Hamm and closed his eyes until dawn.  
The next night things got out of hand.

The Japs broke through in the hills and K-comany was sent there to stop them.  
Hamm helped Sledge, Snafu and Burgin to set up the mortars and Peck provided them with the ammo.

Until everything went to hell.  
Peck had placed Snafu's shot up poncho over the rounds, drenching them with water, disabling them in order to get a fresh poncho for himself.

Snafu had no other choice then to take Sledge, Hamm and a replacement named Dice to get new ammo at the depot.  
''You stay here!'' Snafu snapped to Peck, who seemed to be shrinking under his harsh words.

Hamm ran as fast as he could, following right behind Sledge, storming through Japanese mortar fire to get to the depot for new rounds of ammo.  
All four of them got across in one piece but on the way back Dice was killed and Hamm tried to tug him back to safe lines but was being pulled away but Snafu.

''Get back, he's dead,'' Snafu shouted emotionless, his strange eyes dark and hollow.  
Behind them a small family of four came running for safety, the Japanese machine guns roaring loud until all four of them were shot down like they were nothing.

Hamm averted his eyes in horror until he saw movement to his left.  
The little boy was still alive and tried to get up to crawl for safety.

Hamm didn't even think but lunged himself forward to help the kid, but two arms pulled him backwards quickly, cursing at him what a moron he was being and he could tell by the burly voice that it had been Burgin who saved his ass.

''He's still alive! We have to help him!'' Hamm shouted, trying to get his volume above the machine guns but failed.  
When he looked at the boy again he saw a bullet go into the kids head, crashing his skull open like a melon, splashing his brains all over the muddy soil.

Hamm felt sick and threw up most of his dinner and felt Burgin pat him on the back.

''Come on, let's get back to work,'' the sergeant soothed and he helped Hamm get back to the mortar where they fired at the Japs the rest of the night.

Peck was wearing Snafu's old poncho again, and the rounds stayed dry under the new poncho that Snafu had ripped off Peck's shivering shoulders.  
When the morning came the silence returned and K-company got the morning off to catch up on some much needed sleep.

Hamm was lying in his foxhole with Burgin next to him and fell asleep in seconds.  
After an hour he was roughly awoken by Burgin who shouted that the Japs had broken through and they went back to work.

The next few weeks not much changed for them. They moved further into the hills, killing Japs in bunkers left and right.

They barely slept, the rain was getting more constant and the mood of the men went to such a low point that even the ever so calm Burgin was constantly snapping at everyone who annoyed him.

Sledge had been right about one thing: you got used to seeing death people around you.

Even killing Japs didn't affect Hamm in the slightest after a few weeks and he could tell that he had been changed dramatically.

Snafu had got into a fight with Peck over the location of the foxholes and Sledge had to step in to calm things before they ended up in a fist fight.  
Then Peck had ticked off Bill Leyden and they fought over a picture of Peck's girlfriend.

Turned out he was married but cheated on his wife with some broad named Kathy.  
''Oh that's rich, what does the missus think about the kitty cat?'' Snafu had teased, a huge grin sliding over his face and Sledge had joined in the jokes.

''I met her after I was drafted,'' Peck bit out and everyone fell silent.  
''Drafted? What kind of a marine is drafted?'' Snafu mocked.

''Were you drafted too Hamm?'' Burgin asked curiously and Hamm shook his head.

''No way, I don't believe it. No way that broad is banging some drafted marine, no fucking way,'' Snafu teased with a nod to the picture and Peck snatched it out of his hands and bit out: ''I don't care what you think!''

''Just let me see it again, I need something good to jerk off to,'' Bill Leyden groaned and he grabbed the picture from Peck's hand tearing it a little in the process and before Hamm knew it the men were tangled into a fist fight.

Bill had the upper hand, being small but tough and he was pounding into Peck's lean body, bruising it as well as he could.  
Burgin flew forward stepping between the men, yanking them off each other, panting loud.

''That's enough Bill! Jesus ain't the Japs enough for you?  
It's just a fucking picture Peck, get over it! Behave yourselves or I'll have both of you court-martialed,'' he hissed, authority beaming from his voice and Hamm could tell it had affect.

Bill calmed down but looked at Peck as if he were a lowlife before mumbling: ''It ain't his wife,''  
''We don't need this Bill, we don't,'' Burgin argued and Bill snorted loud and walked away, needing some time to cool off.

When Bill was a few meters away from the men a shell came flying in, bursting apart right in Bill's face, sending the man flying through the mud.

Sledge moved fast despite the constant shells hitting their location and tried to reach Bill, who's face was covered in blood.

Hamm moved without thinking and grabbed Sledge in his arms, tugging him backward as hard as he could but Sledge fought him.

Realizing he couldn't hold him without help, he called for Snafu, who heaped forward and tugged Sledge backward protectively, curling his arms around him and whispering things in his ear to calm him down.

Bill was being taken off the line and back to the infirmary and that night everyone was silent.

''Man I sure thought it would be different,'' Hamm said to nobody in particular but Sledge, who was smoking his pipe like always responded.

''Different from what? Books you read? Movies you saw?'' he spat out and Hamm shook his head warily.  
''No just-different,''

Sledge eyed him with his cold brown eyes and sniffed unimpressed.  
''Grow up Hamm,''

The comment about growing up from a guy who was two years younger than him awoke an anger in Hamm's chest that he hadn't fell before.  
''Fuck you Sledge! Why don't you pull yourself into the hole the next time,'' he bit out and Snafu chuckled to his left.

''Now _that's_ the talk. Look like that Hammbone did learn something in bootcamp. Where are you from Hamm with two mm's?'' Snafu asked, sounding honestly curious this time but before Hamm could answer Sledge scoffed.

''So now you wanna know where they're from?'' the voice was drenched with jealousy and Hamm knew it would be wiser not to answer the question.  
He had learned long ago that when Sledge and Snafu were being like this, it was best to leave them alone.

So he slipped back to the foxhole he shared with Burgin like they did most nights and sat down next to the sleeping sergeant.  
''Hey,'' Burgin greeted when Hamm sat down.

''Hey,''  
''What was that all about?''

''What?''  
''The arguing I heard,''

''Oh Snafu wanted to know where I'm from, Sledge got jealous I guess so they got into an argument and I knew I had to leave,''  
''Hmm smart move Hamm. You handled yourself well today you know,'' Burgin complimented and Hamm blushed slightly.

''Thanks Sarge,''  
''I mean it, you saved Sledge's sorry ass when you pulled him backward. I guess I was wrong about you,'' Burgin mused and Hamm raised an eyebrow.

''About what?''

''That you're idealism is a weakness. Turns out that for you it might be your strength.  
If you hadn't had such strong believes and ideas Gene would be dead by now.

And you wanting to save that kid back when we lost Dice, it was only human. That's what you have that we don't.

You're still a human being Hamm, you still want to save people and do some good,'' Burgin smiled gentle as he pressed himself closer to Hamm to share some body heat in the cold spring night.

''What does that make you?'' Hamm asked and Burgin cocked his head to the side and gazed Hamm into his eyes with his piercing blue ones.  
''A cold hearted killing machine Hamm,''

''I don't believe that,'' Hamm said instantly and Burgin coughed loud and took a sip of water.

''Of course _you_ wouldn't, but it's true though. I don't care about anything anymore.  
We're here to kill Japs and I really enjoy doing that. It doesn't affect me when I kill them, I don't feel pity or regret.

I'm more animal than human after all I've seen and done.  
It's been three years for me you know. I've been enduring all this crap for three years. Like Gene says: after a while you get used to it.

I've lost more friends than I can count and I was the single survivor from my entire company when we left Gloucester.  
Don't you get it? I can't care anymore.  
I can't become friends with guys like you or Peck because you all end up dying anyway,'' Burgin choked out and Hamm could hear the held back sob in his sergeants voice.

Hamm placed a tentative hand on Burgin's stone cold hands and held onto them tight, allowing the warmth from his fingers to spread to his drenched and miserable sergeant.

''I'm _not_ dying Burgie, I promise you,'' he vowed and Burgin shot him a sad smile and held onto his hand a bit tighter, pressing his helmet down on Hamm's shoulder, moving their bodies closer together.

''I wish you could make such promises to me, but unfortunately all of the other corpses I knew said the same thing once,'' Burgin sniffed and Hamm didn't know what to say to that.

So he fell silent and placed an arm around his sergeant before falling asleep slowly, exhaustion ruling over his better judgement.  
When he woke up Burgin was gone and he was alone in their foxhole, the rain pouring down relentless again and Hamm sighed.

Great, just another day in paradise.  
Burgin was walking near their foxhole, speaking to Lt Mac and he nodded to Hamm when he saw that he was up.

The orders were simple today: stay put and hold off any other Japs that might be stupid enough to break through.  
Sledge was ordered to blow up a hut nearby and took Hamm and some other guys with him.

Sledge had been a royal grump ever since Leyden had been shot and not even Snafu could cheer him up lately.  
In fact it had only increased their constant fighting and arguments.

Sledge blew the hut into pieces and watched a dozen Jap soldiers escaping the hut, their swords and rifles up in the air proudly and they were shouting loud.  
Hamm raised his M1 but Sledge put his hand on his shoulder and told him to wait till they were closer.

When they were in range they shot them all, a real turkey shoot like Snafu would say if the were there. One guy tried to get back to his feet but Sledge raised his pistol and aimed.

''Jesus Sledge leave him!'' Hamm mumbled, knowing instinctively that he should keep his mouth shut.  
''What for?! He's a Jap ain't he?'' Sledge murmured as he killed the man with a head shot.

When they were walking back from the hut the other men split and they were alone and Hamm decided to be a little more bold than he had ever dreamed he'd be.  
''Does Snafu let you kiss him with that mouth Gene?''

Sledge halted abruptly and shoved Hamm up against a wall, pinning him down harsh, a crazed expression in his brown eyes.  
''What the hell are you talking about?''

''I know about you guys, I've known for weeks now,'' he admitted and Sledge slammed his fist into the rock behind Hamm's face and groaned when his knuckled split open and bled.

''How the fuck did you know?'' he gritted through his teeth and Hamm tore a piece of his shirt to patch Sledge back up.  
''Through the magic of sight,''

''You saw us kissing?'' Sledge asked, looking mortified and Hamm blushed.  
''No not kissing, but I heard you guys um-you know-jerking off,''

Sledge's pale face turned even darker and Hamm composed himself with a lot of effort.  
''Oh I see,'' Sledge said and a long silence lingered between them.

''I didn't tell anyone,'' Hamm said awkwardly and Sledge shut his eyes as if he were praying for patience.  
''It doesn't matter, it's not allowed so,''

''But you love him,'' Hamm blurted out and Sledge eyed him in amazement.  
''No I don't,''

''Oh yes you do, I've seen the way you guys look at each other. He loves you too you know,''

''Shut up! He doesn't and I don't love him. It's just...affection, a way to pass the time here.  
Nothing more, nothing less.

And even if it were real we couldn't, it's not allowed in the corpse. And besides: it's an abomination,'' Sledge said mechanically, like he had rehearsed it to himself many times to believe it.

''You're so full of it, why can't you just admit it,''  
''Because I can't goddamnit!!! Just leave me the fuck alone!'' Sledge screamed before he stormed off to his foxhole.

When he came back to his own foxhole he saw that it was empty still.  
''Where's Burgie?'' he asked Peck, who shrugged and said something about a patrol.

When Burgin came back he flopped down next to Hamm and shot him a crooked grin.  
''Got you a present,'' he announced and Hamm's eyes lit up expecting.

''What is it?'' he asked, sounding as excited as a child on christmas morning.  
Burgin fumbled in his pockets and pulled a neatly folded blanket out of it, revealing a Nambu pistol and Hamm's eyes lit up.

''Wow a real Nambu?''  
''Yeah you said you wanted to bring one home for your kid brother right?'' Burgin asked and Hamm nodded excited.

''Well it's yours, snatched it off a Jap this afternoon,''  
''Wow thanks so much Burgie, I'm like shocked,'' Hamm stammered and Burgin chuckled.

''I can tell, look just consider it your reward for helping us out through the past few weeks. For trying to keep us human,''  
''Thanks Burgie, it means a lot, but didn't you want this for yourself?''

''You're welcome, and no: I hate Jap weapons. Only American for me thanks very much,'' he winked and Hamm blushed slightly.  
''Just be careful with that okay, put it in the holster and don't put a round in the chamber,'' Burgin mumbled.

''I won't, don't worry,''  
_''Just stay alive Hamm,''_ Burgin said, locking his eyes with Hamm, who nodded obedient but felt an odd shiver go over his spine.

He made a promise to stay alive and he would have to keep it.  
The only problem was that he had no clue how to achieve that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Home is wherever you are.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war comes to an end and Hamm wonders what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this took me forever to update but I've been very busy.  
> So this is the last chapter of this short story. I hope you guys liked it. 
> 
> It's my first Pacific story and I really enjoyed making this.  
> Thanks for reading this!

_Okinawa, 1945._

 

 

The day after Burgin gives him his Nambu pistol the mail finally arrives.

Hamm can tell that whatever letter Sledge has gotten isn't a happy one because the man is sitting in the mud, staring into the rocks with a shattered expression on his face.

He wonders if he should ask him if everything is alright but before he can move Snafu is already hovering over Sledge, ever watchful, calling his name.

 _''Gene?''_ he asked with a warmth in his voice that Hamm has never heard before and he finds it hard to look away from the men and focus on his own letter, that he hasn't even opened yet.

''My dog died,'' Sledge said, sounding almost robotic now and Hamm's eyes go wide.  
His dog?

It seemed so strange to get this upset over _a dog_ in their current environment that Hamm almost felt the urge to laugh over the controversy off the situation but he pursed his lips together and waits.

''I'm sorry,'' Snafu murmured as he sat down next to Sledge, eyeing him cautiously, clearly pondering, debating with himself on what to say next.  
Snafu isn't very social and Hamm can imagine it must be hard for him to find a way to soothe Sledge.

''He was a good dog,'' Sledge said mechanically, not looking at Snafu but gripping onto the letter a little tighter, creasing it.  
''How old was he?'' Snafu asked and Sledge sighed deep.

''Got him when he was a pup, nine maybe ten years ago,''

''They say what, dogs live seven years to every one of ours?'' Snafu offered but Sledge shut his eyes, a hint of disappointment in them and Snafu just slipped in closer and pressed their bodies together.

Hamm, who had decided that it was safe to leave them to it now, tore his own letter open, his eyes widening at the horror of the typed letters.  
His older brother Daniel had been killed when his ship had been hit by Japanese kamikazes.

Daniel, his favorite brother was dead.  
He had always protected him when they were kids, when their dad and Jack his eldest brother would go down hard on him, but now he was gone.

Hamm's youngest brother Michael had been too young to sign up for the marine corpse and for that Hamm was grateful.

His eldest brother Jack didn't want to enlist and made up a sorry excuse to stay home, much to the dismay of Daniel.

''My brother was on the bunker hill,'' Hamm choked out to nobody in particular.  
''Wow,'' Snafu spat sarcastic, clearly wondering why he'd chosen this moment to open his big mouth about something random.

''The ship was hit by two kamikazes, five hundred guys died asshole,'' Hamm snapped furiously and he got up from the mud and walked as far away from the pair as he could.

He flipped himself down in his foxhole and cried until he had a raging headache.  
''Hamm?'' Burgin's voice came from very far and Hamm wondered if he wasn't dreaming.

 _''What?''_ he lashed out.  
''I heard about your brother, I'm very sorry,'' Burgin said and he sat down next to Hamm, folding his arms together and pushing himself against Hamm's side.

''Why do you care,'' Hamm snapped and Burgin wrapped an arm around his shaking shoulders.  
''Of course I care, it's my job to care as a sergeant,'' he said clumsily and Hamm rolled his eyes.

''Yeah well I relieve you of your duties then, go do something useful and just leave me alone,''  
''No I won't do that,''

Damn Burgin and his legendary stubbornness, Hamm mused, gritting his teeth angrily.

''Look you don't have to talk to me about it but I just want to help you get through it,'' his sergeant said and Hamm could tell he was being sincere but that didn't change anything for him.

He just wanted to be left alone.

''I know but I don't want any help!''  
''Maybe not but you still _need_ it, I know Snafu upset you back there,''

''Is that why you're here? You fucking pity me?'' Hamm asked, peering deep into Burgin's piercing blue eyes.  
''No! For fuck's sake Hamm! I just-''

 **''Just what?!''** Hamm screamed, moving as far away from Burgin as he could and he started picking up several slippery rocks and smashing them into the sucking mud with as much ferocity as he could find.

He scraped his fingertips until they bled in the process and he bruised his knees when a rock tumbled out of his hand and fell down his legs.  
''Hamm stop it please, you're gonna hurt yourself!'' Burgin urged but Hamm was unstoppable.

When he raised another rock an arm folded around his and he dropped it down on the floor with a thump.

 _''David_ , please stop,'' Burgin repeated, and the sound of his own first name rolling over Burgin's tongue somehow opened his eyes to what he was doing and he calmed a little.

It was the first time anyone had called him by his first name in nine months.  
He fell back down, tugged his knees to his waist and started crying, covering his face in his arms.

Blood from his hands was dripping on his uniform but he didn't care about that, he didn't care about anything anymore.  
Burgin sat down next to him and wrapped his arm around his shoulders stroking his back gentle and calm.

''You know why I enlisted?'' Hamm asked when he had cried for what seemed to be centuries.  
''No why?''

''Because of my brother Jack, he's the eldest back home. I have three brothers and Jack should have enlisted himself but he got out of it by using some lame excuse about his health.

So my parents were extremely disappointed in him for not going and so Daniel and I enlisted.

And to be honest: I just wanted to leave home. My parents are very rich and hold impossible standards to their children, so when I turned seventeen I enlisted.  
Lied about my age and signed up with Daniel, who was twenty at the time.

The marine corpse was our escape in a way but I feel bad for my baby brother Michael, who's still trapped in my parents iron grip.  
See my dad he's a senator,'' Hamm admitted and Burgin's eyes widened.

Hamm wondered why he even told him all of this.

He just figured that Burgin had a way of dragging everything out of his guys with those deep lying blue eyes of his, always sharp and intriguing, always observing everything.

''Are you serious?'' his Sergeant asked and Hamm nodded.  
''Yup a fucking US senator, I actually met Roosevelt a few times when I was a kid, he's nice. My father knows everyone in the oval office,''

''No shit,''

''U-hu I'm afraid it's true. It sucks but it's still true. God I grew up hating my father, hell we all did. Only Jack liked him, but those two were two halves of the same coin.  
I was five when my dad first hit me with his belt, and it never stopped happening since that day,''

Burgin shut his eyes and swallowed hard.

Hamm could tell his words had shocked and angered the older man but he didn't quite know what to say to him that would make it all better.  
''I'm sorry he did that to you,''

''Yeah well me and Dan were suppose to run off together after the war had ended you know, to get ourselves out of his grip. But now I'm on my own cause he's-''  
''I'm sorry David, I really am,'' Burgin soothed as he placed his warm, calloused hand on top of Hamm's and squeezed it gentle.

''I know, so tell me about your family?'' Hamm said quickly, sniffing his tears away, begging for a new topic.

''Well I'm from a small town in Texas called Jewett. My parents are simple farmers and they've always been very good to me. We own a big ranch with lots of horses, cows and other cattle,''

''Any siblings?''  
''Yeah my younger brother J.D. he landed in Europe with the 70th infantry division. I hope he's okay,'' Burgin said, a worried glance sliding over his face.

''He probably is,'' Hamm comforted him, knowing that his words were useless bullshit.  
''Yeah I hope so, he's a great kid. Looks a lot like my mom, but he's tough like her you know. It's a family trait,'' Burgin smiled.

''If he's anything like you he'll be fine,'' Hamm said it without even thinking about it and he saw Burgin's cheeks flush and his lips twitch a bit before his sergeant pulled himself up from his spot and started busying himself with little chores, like checking his roster, emptying ammo out of the mud and trying to dry his helmet.

''Get some rest Hamm, I have to go run some errands. Stay close to Sledge and Snafu and watch Kathy for me okay, I worry about him,''  
''You got it Burgie,''

Burgin disappeared back to regiment and the night closed in, carrying more heavy rain then the previous night.  
Hamm shuffled back to the tent were Sledge, Snafu and Peck were sitting and sat down next to Snafu who eyed him nervously.

It wasn't unusual for him, Snafu's thing was to stare at you until you felt _really_ uncomfortable but Hamm wasn't in the mood for his games today.

''Look Hamm, I uh-'' the Cajun started but Hamm shook his head.  
''Nah it's okay, you don't have to say it,''

''Well I do anyway, just so you know: I'm sorry for what I said,'' Snafu offered and Hamm nodded.  
''It's okay,''

''And we're sorry to hear about your brother,'' Sledge added, as he got up and tried to scoop the water out of the tent.

''We need some reinforcements up here,'' Snafu complained after a while and Sledge rolled his eyes.

Snafu said that about ten times a day and everyone was getting fed up with it.  
''Give it a rest,'' Sledge bit out.

He was always the only one who dared to argue with Snafu when Burgie wasn't around.

''Fuck you Eugene,''  
''Yeah fuck you too Shelton,''

''Fuck I'm so fucking tired. Tired of this maggoty stench, first they order us to move forward when we ain't got enough fucking bodies.  
They fucking order us to sleep in our own shit, they fucking shell us with our own artillery. I'm so fucking tired of not having enough fucking bodies!!!'' Snafu shouted and Sledge started shouting back.

''Jesus shut the fuck up!!''  
''Fuck you!!''

''Just shut up Shelton!!!''  
''Fuck you!''

Peck was suddenly getting up from his spot and started running toward the hills, a crazed expression on his face and he started shooting at the Japs.  
''Come on you fuckers! Just fucking shoot me already!''

''Hey Peck!'' Hamm shouted and Snafu and Sledge climbed after him, desperately trying to get Peck back to safety.  
''Peck sit down!'' Sledge ordered but the man was berserk.

Quick footsteps approached behind Hamm and he could tell from the heavy breathing that Burgin had joined them.

''Get him back!'' he ordered and Hamm who was with Peck first, angled his arm forward to grab Peck's poncho and tug him backwards.

The bullets from the Japanese machine guns were flying around their ears and Hamm desperately tried to dodge them.  
''Peck come on!'' he urged as he grabbed the poncho but lost his grip thanks to the slippery rain and he was forced to release it.

Behind him Sledge and Snafu were being held up by Sledge slipping on a rock and falling down on his side.  
Snafu had halted to help him and Hamm knew that he was on his own until Burgin would reach him.

Burgin was quick and there was a steadiness and balance in his pace that had always impressed Hamm, he ran like a cheetah that lunched toward a prey.  
He was behind him in an instance and pulled Hamm backward by his arm, shielding him behind the rocks from the incoming bullets.

''Stay down!'' he ordered as he crouched forward to grab Peck by his leg. But he was too late, a bullet his Peck in his back when he had turned around and he fell face down into the mud, motionless.

Hamm checked his neck for a pulse but it was too late. He was gone.  
''He's dead,'' he choked out and Burgin nodded and pulled both of them back to safety.

The next morning everyone was quiet. Nobody had really liked Peck as a guy but the reason behind his craziness had turned a lot of dust.  
Burgin decided to hold a quick briefing that morning, to get everyone back on the same page.

''Okay I know we're all tired and exhausted from spending more then seventy days on this godforsaken rock. I know tensions are rising high.  
But what happened here last night was totally unnecessary and should have been prevented.

You two-'' he said turning his stern gaze to Sledge and Snafu, ''-need to quit fighting over every little fucking thing! You saw what it led to last night! I get that it's hard to have a relationship when you're in the marine corpse but that is not excuse for your fucking dumb behavior lately!''

''We don't have a relationship-'' Snafu argued, face turning dark red but Burgin raised his hand and Snafu fell into a grunting silence.

''Yes you do, don't insult us by denying it. If I ever hear you two snap at each other again I'll arrange that one of you is transferred to another battalion,'' he threatened and two pair of shocked eyes gazed at the sergeant.

''You wouldn't,'' Sledge panted, obviously impressed by the threat.

''Oh I would,'' Burgin assured him and Sledge and Snafu exchanged glares and sighed.

''Fine we'll behave,'' they said in sync and Burgin gave them a sharp nod.

''Good, Hamm with me, we got ourselves a mission,'' he barked and Hamm grabbed his stuff and followed his sergeant, happy to be away from the other men for a while.

A few days later word reached the men that the war was finally over.  
Apparently they had dropped a couple of huge bombs on the Japanese cities and the emperor had issued their official surrender.

Sledge and Snafu fell into each others arms, cheering loud and Hamm received a short embrace from Burgin before the sergeant released him and pulled Sledge and Snafu into a three way hug.

That night back at the base camp on the beach everyone got drunk.  
Beer and wine flowed freely, there were steaks and chips served at long tables and the mood was brilliant.

Hamm followed Burgin around the camp but they soon lost touch with Sledge and Snafu, who probably went somewhere for a little more privacy.  
Burgin led him to a cliff overlooking the calm sea below and they sat down on the soft grass with a bottle of champagne, Burgin had stolen from somewhere.

''Jesus,'' Burgin exhaled after a while and Hamm gazed at him raising his eyebrows.  
''What?''

''I just can't believe it's really over you know, I never thought they would actually surrender. I thought we were going to be killing Japs until the end of time,''  
''I didn't think that,'' Hamm said and Burgin chuckled soft.

''Of course _you_ didn't, being the cute little idealist that you are,''  
''Well in the end I was right wasn't I?''

''If you say so Hamm,''  
''You're so fucking stubborn you know that,'' Hamm complained and Burgin swallowed hard.

''Yeah I know, we all have our vices,''  
''So what are you going to do now that the war is over?''

Burgin leaned backward on the rock and placed his arms under his head.  
''I don't know, go back home and work on the ranch I guess,''

''What was your job on the ranch?'' Hamm asked curiously and Burgin smiled soft.

''I break in the horses mostly, train them and care for them. I love horses,'' he hummed happily and he placed his lips around the bottle and took another long sip of champagne.

''What about you? I take it a job in the oval office isn't on top of your list?'' he joked but Hamm didn't return the smile and swallowed deep.  
''No not exactly,''

''What then?''  
''I don't really wanna talk about it,''

''Yeah I can tell, so spill,'' Burgin demanded.  
''Fine, I can't go home,''

''Why not?''

''My parents disowned me and kicked me out of the house before I enlisted.

I've got nothing, no money, no savings and no house. Like I said before: my brother Daniel and I had planned to start a new life together but now that he's dead I'm not sure what I have to do,''

''Why did they disown you?'' Burgin asked as he scooted in closer to Hamm and pressed a hand on his arm for support.  
The warm fingers were trembling on the bare skin of his arm and Hamm suppressed a smile.

He really didn't want to admit the truth to Burgin but the alcohol had released his usual breaks and his mouth didn't seem to be able to stop babbling.

''Because I don't like girls,'' Hamm blurted out, feeling a huge, embarrassed blush fill up his hollow cheeks.

''Oh,'' Burgin said, obviously shocked by his announcement but he didn't move away from Hamm as he had expected him to do.

''You can walk away now,'' Hamm suggested but Burgin frowned.  
''Why would I wanna do that?''

''Because I'm an _abomination_ , a disgusting queer etcetera,''  
''Stop talking all biblical like that Hamm, you're a nice guy and you're my friend. I'm not just gonna walk out on you cause you like guys,''

Hamm felt a lump form in his throat and averted his eyes, trying to prevent the tears from rolling down his cheeks but they came anyway. He just hoped it was dark enough so that Burgin couldn't see them.

''I thought you-didn't become-friends with replacements,'' he choked out, taking another long sip form the bottle of booze.  
''Usually I don't, but you're different Hamm. You've proved yourself and I trust you so yeah I consider you a friend even if you don't think that way about me,''

''No that's not it, I would like to be your friend but I just never thought you would wanna be my friend and after-''  
''Hamm?''

''Hmm?''  
''Stop talking and take another drink,'' Burgin grinned and Hamm happily obliged.

When the bottle was almost empty Hamm felt his eyelids get tired and lazy and he laid his head down in the dry grass and shut his eyes.  
Burgin slipped down next to him, their arms barely touching and let out a deep sigh.

''Wanna come back to Texas with me when we get back to the States?'' Burgin asked and Hamm's heart stopped.

 **''WHAT?!''** he exclaimed, almost shouting in his amazement.

''Look my family always needs extra hands on the ranch and we have a small cottage next to my parents house where you could live.  
Don't worry, my family isn't religious in any way so they would never judge you for being yourself.

If you work for us they would provide you some money and food in exchange for a helping hand,'' Burgin said as he lit another cigarette and twirled it around in his fingers, indicating to Hamm that he was nervous about his words.

''You're serious,'' he concluded, his blue eyes wide with shock.  
''Yes,''

''But why would you _want_ me around after the war?''  
Burgin smiled happily and took a long drag of his cigarette, exhaling the smoke in a perfect circle.

''Like I said: you're my friend. And you don't deserve to be out on the streets like some fucking homeless person after all this is over. So I'm offering you a job, and a steady household that would love to take care of you. God I'm sure my mom would smother you to death if you'd let her,'' he grinned.

''But I've never worked on a farm before! I know nothing of taking care of animals for gods sake!''  
''You'll learn Hamm, jesus it's not rocket science ya know. It's farming,'' he said dryly and Hamm rolled his eyes.

''Well it's still a weird idea for me to live on a farm-''  
''Oh I see, you think you're too good for simple folk like me!'' Burgin lashed out and Hamm's eyes went wide with shock.

No, no, no this wasn't what he was angling at!

''No Burgie! I didn't mean that! I was just saying that I'm afraid to fail okay!  
I've had that since I was a kid, I just don't wanna let your folks down by invading their privacy and then by sucking at my job!''

''Why would you suck at farming?''  
''I dunno! I never done it before! And I'm scared to let your folks down and to let you down!''

A smug smile washed over Burgin's face and he let out a relieved sigh.  
''Oh I get it now. You're afraid to let _me_ down, this isn't about my folks at all. You're scared that I will be disappointed in you and that I'll send you away,''

Hamm swore under his breath and cursed Burgin's insane observational skills.  
He hated it how he always seemed to know him so much better then he knew himself.

''So what if I am?'' Hamm lashed out and Burgin pursed his lips together and shut his eyes.

''You won't disappoint me Hamm, cause I've seen that determent look in your eyes. If you want something you can do anything,'' he mused and Hamm rolled his eyes at his Sergeant, known he couldn't see it anyway.

''You can do anything, you just gotta believe you can,'' Burgin concluded and after three second Hamm heard faint snoring rise up in the air.  
He curled his arms under his head, pressed his side into Burgin's touch so that they're bodies were touching and closed his eyes.

Despite being exhausted and utterly drunk, sleep didn't seem to find him that night.  
He wondered if Burgin would keep his word by taking him back to the farm, or if he had forgotten about it when the morning would come.

Hours of worrying later and no sleep revealed a new day and Hamm watched the sun rise over the beautiful blue ocean.  
The color of the water was the exact same shade as Burgin's eyes, that intense deep blue and it distracted Hamm a lot.

Next to him Burgin was stirring and shivering and Hamm tugged one of the blankets they had snatched from the rations depot and placed it over his Sergeant.  
The night had been cold but it was pleasantly warm now and Hamm wondered why Burgin was shivering so much.

Maybe he was sick, or he just had a nightmare.  
''No Hamm, get back-you can't-'' Burgin murmured suddenly and Hamm thought he was awake but his eyes were still shut.

So he was having a nightmare then, and apparently he was dreaming about him.  
He wondered if he should wake him up and what the best way to approach a situation like that.

''Burgie wake up!'' he hissed and he gently nudged his sergeant's side with his hand.  
Burgin started groaning and panting, mumbling Hamm's name again and suddenly flew up, eyes filled with tears and horror and he clung himself to Hamm's body.

He pressed his face in Hamm's neck and cried.  
''Thank god you're okay,'' he coughed and Hamm patted his back awkwardly.

''Yeah I'm okay Burgie, it's okay,''  
''I dreamt that you died, you know that day that we lost Peck. That they shot you instead of him,''

''Well they didn't and I'm _fine_ all right,''  
''Yeah thank god for that,''

''Are you feeling okay? You look very pale and you were shivering,'' Hamm asked and Burgin shook his head.  
''No I feel a bit sick, must be the booze right?''

''Yeah probably,''

''Can you help me up? We need to find Sledge and Snafu and get back to base,'' Burgin yawned as he took a giant sip of water from his canteen, spilling a lot of it over his chin.

Hamm lifted Burgin from the grass and wrapped his arms around him for support, dragging him downhill back to a remote ledge where they found Sledge and Snafu.  
They were lying naked in the grass, arms and legs tangled around each other and Hamm resisted the urge to cover his eyes with his hands.

''Oh jesus,'' Burgin swore and he whistled loud, waking the two instantly.

Burgin liked to whistle at them to get their attention, he did it everywhere, at anytime.  
Sledge and Snafu would recognize that whistle anywhere so they rose up sleepily and saluted their sergeant.

''Jesus christ, look at you two!'' Burgin reprimanded and Sledge and Snafu giggled at each other when they realized they were still naked.  
''Sorry Burgie,'' Sledge offered but Burgin rolled his eyes and sighed.

''Save it! Just get dressed and get you're asses back to base, we're moving out today. We're going home,'' he said with a smile.

''Thank god,'' Snafu groaned as he put his dungarees back on and got dressed in record speed, not noticing he put his pants on backward until Hamm started to feel sorry for him hours later and told him.

When Hamm boarded the boat he took one final look at Okinawa and sighed.  
This island had been the most hellish place he'd ever been and he couldn't wait to get off it.

It was the place where he had grown up, the place where he had seen countless death and horrors, but it was also the place where he had made friends.  
Where he had found someone who understood him and who took care of him for once.

And for that he would always be grateful.

 

_Two months later._

 

Hamm sighed as he took another critical look at his cards.  
He had yet another crappy hand and eyed at Snafu, Sledge and Burgie to test their poker faces.

Somehow whenever Snafu dealt he _always_ got a bad hand.  
The American landscape was rolling by as the train moved further south and Hamm found himself staring at it for hours sometimes, just taking it all in.

Burgin had been sick for almost three weeks after that last night on Okinawa.

A pretty serious pneumonia had almost killed him and during their time on the giant navy cruiser Hamm had spent all of his time taking care of his exhausted sergeant.

Burgin hadn't talked about taking Hamm back to Texas with him anymore so Hamm guessed that deal was off and that Burgin had only offered it cause he was drunk.

They boarded the train in Seattle and it would take them down to the south and then up to the east side of the States, so if you had to go to New York you had a long train ride ahead of you.

When they arrived at the Texas state boarder Hamm's heart rate went up.  
Burgin put the deck of cards in his rug sack and started cramming his belongings in it.

''Come on Hamm, go get your stuff, we're almost there,'' he ordered casually and Sledge and Snafu's jaws dropped to the floor.  
Hamm felt a strange wave of relief wash over himself and he exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding.

''Huh? You're taking him with you?'' Snafu asked, eyes big as saucers.  
''Yeah he's got nowhere to go so he's gonna work on my parents ranch,'' Burgin announced with a wink to Hamm, who blushed.

''Told you they're doing it!'' Sledge chirped at Snafu who grinned.  
''We're not doing it!!! Hamm and Burgin exclaimed simultaneously.

''Double negative? That's a yes,'' Sledge noted, taking a drag of his pipe.  
''It's not! We're just friends!'' Hamm snapped and Burgin eyed him with a strange expression on his face.

It almost seemed like he was offended.  
''Whatevah,'' Snafu shrugged.

''Come on Hamm, this is our stop,'' Burgin said and Sledge and Snafu got up and embraced both of them briefly.  
''It's been a pleasure boys,'' Burgin said, nodding curt and Sledge and Snafu nodded back.

''Thanks for everything Burgie,'' Snafu said.  
''You're good marines,'' Burgin said affectionately as they left the train.

When they stepped on the station Burgin waved at a woman who was standing there waiting on them.

''That's my mom, her name is Renee,'' Burgin whispered and he ran toward his mother and embraced her tight.

''Oh my boy, you're finally home,'' Renee cried as she held onto her son as tight as she could.  
''Hi mom, I missed you,''

''I know, and we missed you. Oh my baby, my sweet baby,''  
Hamm stood there waiting until they were finished and felt like an unwanted guest at a party.

Like he was interrupting this family's happiness.  
Burgin looked a lot like his mother.

Renee had long dark hair that she wore in a knot and her eyes were the same shade of dark blue like her son's were.  
She had a friendly face and round features and Hamm instantly liked her.

Renee looked at Hamm over her son's shoulder and raised an eyebrow.

Apparently she'd thought Hamm was going to his own family but when she saw he hadn't moved the penny dropped.

''Who is that?'' she asked and Burgin released his mother and gestured Hamm to come closer.  
''This is my friend David Hamm mom, he's coming to work on the ranch with us if it's okay with you,''

''Hello Mrs Burgin, it's nice to meet you,'' Hamm said polite and he stuck his hand out to the elder woman.  
''Nice to meet you too David, but please call me Renee, mrs Burgin is my mother in law,'' she joked as she shook Hamm's hand.

''I don't mean to barge in here like this but-'' Hamm started but Burgin took over.

''His family disowned him and he's got nowhere to go so I offered him a place to stay. He never worked on a ranch before but he's a quick study so I'm sure he'll be fine,''

''Oh I see. I'm sorry to hear that David and any friend of R.V. is a friend of us. You are welcome to stay with us as long as you'd like,'' Renee smiled and Hamm swallowed hard to mask his tears but failed.

''Thank you ma'm,'' he choked out and Renee embraced him tight.  
''Oh you poor thing, living through a war and then having no place to live. Don't worry we'll take care of ya,''

Hamm sighed into the embrace and hadn't realized until now how much he had missed the warmth of a mother's touch.

''And please; call me Renee,'' she urged when she released Hamm.

''Thank you Renee,''  
''Come on boys, let's go home. I baked corn bread,'' she hummed and Burgin smiled warm at his mother. 

The smile made him seem younger and more relaxed than Hamm had ever seen before and it was only now that he realized how young Burgie really was. 

''Ma did you hear from J.D. yet?'' Burgin asked when they walked toward the ranch and his mother swallowed hard.  
''No not yet, I'll expect to hear from him soon though. He wrote us a couple months ago that he was doing fine,''

Hamm looked at the endless meadows of green grass that surrounded the farm and gasped.

A large white house was standing in the middle of the meadow, there were horses running around behind the wooden fences and there were dogs rounding up the sheep.

''Wow it's beautiful,'' Hamm complimented and Renee smiled warm.  
''Thank you David, it isn't much but we make a living off it and it's home,''

''It's perfect,'' Hamm said and Burgin pressed a warm hand on his shoulder.  
''Welcome home,'' he whispered in his ear and Hamm turned toward him and embraced him tight.

''Thank you-so much-for-doing this,'' he choked out, muffling his cries into the nook of Burgin's neck.

''It's okay, everyone deserves a home David,'' Burgie said awkwardly and Hamm felt Renee's questioning eyes digging into his back so he released her son quickly.

''Is dad home?'' Burgin asked and his mother nodded.  
''Yup he wanted to come along to pick you up but Daisy is in labor so he couldn't,''

''Daisy? Really? But she was just a foal when I left,''  
''Well it's been almost five years dear, she's a grown horse now and she's having her first baby,''

''Come on David you gotta see that, Daisy was my favorite horse,'' Burgin clarified when Hamm shot him confused glances.  
Burgin pulled him into a stable where they heard loud whinnying linger in the air.

''Dad?!'' Burgin choked out as he halted by the stable where his father was sitting in the straw.  
''Oh thank god you're home,'' his father burst out into tears and opened the stable door to embrace his son tight.

''I've missed ya pop,'' Burgin sobbed and his father nodded in his shoulder.  
''And I you son, god it's good you're home,''

''Pop this is my friend David,'' Burgin said when his father had released him.  
''Hello Mr Burgin, it's nice to meet you,'' Hamm said as he stuck his hand out to the man who reminded him of a cowboy from an old western movie.

Mr Burgin wore a big brown cowboy hat with matching clothes, was tall and balding and had blue eyes that were just as investigating and sharp as his son's.  
This was a man who was not to be underestimated.

''Hiya David, nice to meet ya too. But you may call me Joe,''

''He served with me and I offered him a job on the farm because he had no place else to go and besides: with J.D. gone we need the extra hands don't we?'' Burgin said quickly to explain what Hamm was doing there.

''Uhu I suppose that's true, you're welcome to stay here David, for as long as you like to. Now if you'll excuse me: I got a mare that needs my help,''  
''Can I help pop?'' Burgin asked, a warm smile on his face that David had never seen before.

''Sure,''

Burgin entered the stable and shut the door behind him and kneeled at the face of the dark brown mare.  
She had a white blaze on her head and David thought it was the most beautiful horse he had ever seen.

He rested his arms on the stable doors and watched the two men work like a team.

''Okay I think she's ready to push now, try to calm her down, she's in distress,'' Joe ordered and Burgie started stroking Daisy's head, singing softly in her ear to calm her, with worked.

Twenty minutes later a healthy baby foal was born.  
''It's a colt!'' Joe chirped and David raised his eyebrows.

''A what? Isn't a colt a gun?''  
''It's another word for a boy foal, the girl foals are called filly's. Don't worry about it, it's farm chatter. You'll learn soon enough,'' Burgie winked.

''What shall we call him then?'' Joe mumbled as he stroked his chin with his fingers.  
''What about Danny?'' Burgie suggested and David felt his throat constrict.

Burgin was suggesting to name the horse after his deceased brother.  
It was odd how much peace that seemed to give him, like he would have his brother with him somehow, through the little brown horse.

''It's a good name,'' Joe agreed and Burgie locked his eyes with David's.  
''David?''

''It's fine,'' he choked out and he ran out of the stable as quick as he could, only to burst out into tears when he came outside.  
Renee found him first and held him in her arms for a long time, not saying a word.

He felt Burgie's hand on his back and his sergeant was dragging him toward a shed and gently nudged him through the door.  
''I thought I'd show you your new digs,'' he said and David looked around in the little cottage and gasped.

''Wow it's beautiful,'' he said truthfully.  
The house had everything: a little fireplace in the living room, a nice small kitchen, a bedroom with a rather large bed and a shower with a toilet.

''Well it's not much but it'll be your home from now on,'' his friend said and he pressed a hand on David's shoulder.  
''Did I push too far by calling the horse Danny?''

''No it was very nice of you, it just reminded me of how much I miss my brother and that I can't ever go home,''  
''I understand, whenever you need to talk about it you know where to find me all right?''

''Yeah thanks,''  
''Come on momma baked corn bread, get it while it's hot; it's delicious,'' Burgie grinned and he took David back to the farmhouse.

Lunch was nice and cosy and Joe and Renee asked them all kinds of questions and David let his friend answer most of them.  
They were _his_ parents after all.

After lunch Burgie showed David around on the farm, helped him unpack his stuff in the cottage and they helped Renee prepare dinner in the kitchen.  
When dinner was over David said goodnight and retired to his new house.

He laid down on his bed and realized that he would be sleeping alone for the first time in almost a year.  
The silence around him was unsettling and he was twisting and turning under the blankets.

He heard crickets chirping and a cow mooing from time to time and he laid awake for hours.  
When he looked at the clock and saw that it was already two in the morning he sighed and got out of bed to get a cup of water.

The moon was illuminating the landscape and when he gazed at the house next to him he saw a door opening and a familiar figure making his way toward his cottage.  
His door opened and Burgie slipped inside, carrying his blanket in his arms.

When he saw David standing in the kitchen he halted abrupt.  
''Oh hey,''

''Hey, can't sleep either huh?'' David mused and Burgie shook his head.  
''Yeah it's like I can't sleep alone anymore after all we've been through. Do you mind if I uh-''

''Yeah sure, it's a pretty big bed anyway,'' David snorted and he drank his cup of water quickly and went back to bed.  
Burgie laid down next to him and crawled under the blankets, curled up behind David and draped his arm around his waist.

''You'd thought I'd forgotten about our deal didn't you?'' he asked and David sighed.

''Well you were fucking drunk when you'd offered to take me here and you never mentioned it afterward so yeah I thought you weren't serious about it, until you suddenly told me to go with you on the train,''

''God you should've seen your face when I did, you looked as shocked as a dear in the headlights,'' Burgie giggled, tugging David a little closer to himself.  
''Don't be mean, how could I have known you were being for real when you offered it,''

''Because you know me dimwit,''  
''Do I?'' David asked as he turned around to gaze in his friend's eyes.

''You tell me?''

''Look all I know is that you didn't bring me here out of pity, you brought me here for yourself. Because you didn't want to lose a friend,'' David snapped, a bit louder than he had intended and Burgie paled.

''No David, you don't understand-''  
''I understand it just fine!''

''No you don't! Look you're right: I did bring you here for me but not like you think! I brought you here because just like yourself I'm not into girls either!''  
It was like the ground had fallen away under David's feet and he felt his stomach flip.

''What?! You're gay?''  
''Yes, and I didn't want you to go because I'm into you all right, jesus how thick can you be Hamm, honestly...''

''How thick can I be?!'' David shouted back, hands raised in the air helplessly.  
''Yeah! Everyone knew how I felt about you, how can you've missed it?''

''I don't-''  
''Jesus Hamm, you're so ridiculously _clueless_ it's enraging! And so damn cute at the same time,'' Burgie bit out.

''You really do live in some fucking fantasy land don't you?''  
David felt heat rise to his cheeks and sighed deep.

''Obviously I do because in all my fantasies I would have never dreamed that you would ever love me back,'' David choked out, already cursing himself for using the word 'love' but he did mean it.

He _loved_ Burgie, had done so for months now.

''Well I guess you were wrong about that weren't ya?'' Burgie smiled as he cupped David's face with his hands and pressed their foreheads together gently.

''I guess I was, but Burgie: what about your parents?'' David hissed, sucking in a groan when Burgie's lips stroked past his cheek.

''I already spoke to my folks, they don't have a problem with it, the outside world probably will but we will just have to act as best friends I guess. My folks just wanna see us happy and I know that I can't be happy unless I've got you here with me so-''

David cut him off by closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to Burgie's.

It was David's first kiss and he loved every minute of it, the way Burgie's fingers were entangled in his hair, the way he was nibbling on his lower lip, how the strong arms were draped around his body, warm and possessive.

It all felt so good, so loving and David was sure he would never get enough of Burgie.

It was so peaceful, warm and David felt a strange need he had never felt before.  
He wanted to feel Burgie closer, wanted to hold him tighter into his arms, wanted to taste every piece of skin the other man had.

Burgie parted his lips when he felt David's tongue begging at his entrance and let him in, their warm tongues melting together slowly and desperately.

Both of them were moaning and panting soft, their arms were everywhere, their legs were tangled together and Burgie found a way to tug David on top of his chest, while they kissed each other senseless.

They forgot about everything, all the death they had seen, all the friends they'd lost.  
The children that they had accidentally shot up, the baby that had exploded in front of their faces.

The smell of the rotting bodies vanished for the first time since they left Okinawa.  
The mortars stopped flying over their heads and the bombing sounds finally seized.

They were just David and Burgie now, lying together in a bed in Texas, with their hearts overflowing with love instead of hate.

They were happy and they were home.  
David never left Texas again.

_They spend the rest of their lives in peace._

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think guys! Notes help me improve! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys think :-)   
> Opinions matter to me to improve my writing! 
> 
> English is not my native tongue so keep that in mind for errors please.


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